Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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