Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Do vagina's smell?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
