i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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