So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
