I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize