What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize