Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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