You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
