You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
