sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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