kristin has been a bad kristin
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
