Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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