The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize