I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
