He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize