Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
