You work out of a Hotel?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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