fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
