Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
