I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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