I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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