Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
