I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
