I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
