do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
