Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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