...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
