I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
