she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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