He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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