You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
