are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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