you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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