i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
