A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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