He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
