If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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