I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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