I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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