you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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