come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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