is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
