he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
