just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
