Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
