You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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