There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so let's talk penis.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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