Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
did i just pee glitter
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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