Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What a dumb baby whore.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
