just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
