is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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