i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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