UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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