you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
