Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
