just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
