Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize