Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
