is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
