And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
