Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
