your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
