Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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