Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
