4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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